Hot Seat Rankings: The seats! The seats! The seats are on fire!

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Oh, baby. How do I even intro this week's hot seat rankings? James Franklin's firing not only shocked the college football world, but officially ushered us into one of my favorite parts of each season: Coaches around the country vaguely dancing around questions about their interest in the first major job that pops up:

LONG LIVE THE HOT SEAT!

FRESH FIRINGS

James Franklin - Penn State

It never crossed my mind to put James Franklin in the rankings after Penn State lost to UCLA. Even I –one of the worlds greatest Nittany Lions haters– wouldn't have believed you if you told me their follow-up would be losing to Northwestern at home. I wrote plenty on the Franklin situation in my takeaways column earlier this week, so I'll keep it brief here. The temperature in Happy Valley simply reached a level where keeping Franklin for the rest of the season would've gotten ugly. Making the move now was like jumping in an ice bath: A short-term shock to the system that's ultimately beneficial long-term for both parties.

What intrigues me most is how it shapes the landscape of coaching going forward. The butterfly effect of Nick Saban's retirement is still ripping through the sport. Franklin's firing has the potential to do the same on a smaller scale. We're already seeing it play out in real time. This time last week, Matt Rhule potentially leaving for another job wasn't on Nebraska's radar. Now, they at least need a backup plan ready, no matter what Rhule says publicly. Hell, maybe a program we're not even thinking about yet fires their guy to make a run at Franklin. This year's coaching carousel was already heading for madness, but the Penn State/Franklin divorce takes it to pure chaos.

Trent Dilfer - UAB

2StripesCPD's foremost enemy has finally been vanquished. Trent Dilfer's 2.5-year reign of terror at UAB is mercifully over after the Blazers' 55-33 loss at Florida Atlantic. I try my best to not pile on coaches after they're fired –they're only human, after all– but I'll make an exception for Dilfer. His arrogance and incompetence alone drove UAB into the mud. A proud program that built itself back up from the ashes of its 2014 shutdown became a clown car of results on the field and quotes to the media, thanks to a man with the largest (metaphorical) red nose in coaching.

Dilfer went 9-21 overall with an 0-15 mark on the road. His road losing-streak lasted longer than the time between road wins during the program's 2014-16 shutdown. His sheer list of quotables and blunders is almost unfathomable for someone who only coached 2.5 seasons at a G5. He once called himself the, "Worst college football coach in America." He brought his grandkids to the podium with him during a presser and said, "It's not like this is freaking Alabama." He thought his daily schedule would be easier as a college coach than it was when he coached high school. He showed off his Super Bowl ring to fans during the middle of a game, and had his phone out sending videos to his family seconds before kickoff at Tennessee. Last –but certainly not least, because it's my favorite– he challenged other coaches to raid his roster through the portal so he could tell on them to his friends at ESPN:

Trent Dilfer is one of the worst college football head coaches of all-time. I'll miss him only because he handed me hot seat content on a silver platter each week. Otherwise, good riddance. Congratulations to UAB fans on the second rebirth of a program that deserves better.

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Trent Bray - Oregon State

What happened with Bray at Oregon State reminds me of Jon Embree's two seasons (2011-12) at Colorado. Both took over programs where they played and had extensive assistant-coaching history. Each program was in full rebuild mode, with rosters in disarray. Each also had to navigate the difficulties of conference re-alignment; Colorado moving from the Big 12 to the Pac-12, Oregon getting left in independence purgatory by its Pac-12 brethren. Navigating all that at the same time would be a struggle for even seasoned head coaches, let alone first-timers. Both Bray and Embree had almost no shot of succeeding, and were fired in their second year. (Embree made it the full season.)

Canning guys like Trent Dilfer is easy for a fanbase to digest. He stunk, had no previous ties to UAB, and their fans will never want to see or hear from him again. Firing people like Bray and Embree –program and community staples each fanbase loved as players and assistants– is messy and leaves hurt feelings on each side. It's the tough nature of coaching, however, and a cautionary tale for any coach offered the top spot at a place they played at.

AND NOW, THE RANKINGS

1. Billy Napier - Florida (2-4) (Last week: 1)

We're well past the point of pretending results matter in Billy Napier's futile attempt to keep his job - win or lose. The Gators lost another entirely winnable game - this time at No. 5 Texas A&M, 34-17. Let's play the hits, shall we?

Napier is now 0-14 in ranked road games at Florida. They haven't scored a fourth-quarter point since September 6. He bungled another end-of-half situation against A&M. He's giving "We're close" quotes for the second time in a month, and probably pissed off his QB in the process.

Florida's problems run deeper than just Napier, though. They're a program willingly standing in front of a jet engine of noise. Instead of getting out of the way, they're trying to be louder than it by simply yelling. They just dropped news of a $400 million renovation to the Swamp that decreases seating by over 6,000. Meanwhile, they're actively selling out games with a coach their fanbase hates. They have more leaks inside their athletic department than Lil' Wayne's Carter 3 rollout - the latest being that Napier might be gone on Sunday, regardless of the result against Mississippi State. The only thing saving him at this point is the timid Athletic Director who fans want fired, too.

Say what you want about Penn State firing James Franklin, but they at least accepted they couldn't save the house when the big ass fire started raging in it. Meanwhile, Florida's on year two of being the dog sitting in the middle of the flames saying, "this is fine."

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2. Luke Fickell - Wisconsin (2-4) (Last week: 3)

On a night they donned retro uniforms celebrating the glory days of Wisconsin football, the 2025 Badgers branded themselves as the 'dark ages' for future generations. Luke Fickell's squad lost 37-0 to Iowa, the program's first home shutout loss since November 8, 1980. I'm not trying to be hyperbolic here when I say it's the most disgraceful performance from any power conference team so far this season.