Hot Seat Rankings: The end of Chapel Bill

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1. Billy Napier Florida (2-3) (Last week: 1)

I get a lot of stuff wrong, but sometimes I know what I'm talking about. From last week's rankings:

On October 4, 2024, I had him No. 1 in my hot seat rankings. 364 days later, he's No. 1 in my hot seat rankings again. Billy Napier makes operating 2StripesCPD easier, and I thank him for that. Here's the twist, though: I'm calling for Florida to upset Texas tomorrow, leading to national discussion about whether his seat is any cooler. Spoiler: It won't be. Next week we'll discuss exactly why he'll still be No. 1, even after a win.

Florida playing great against a flawed Texas team and saving Napier's job was the most predictable result of the season. It's the same thing they did at the end of last year when they upset LSU and Ole Miss after looking terrible for most of the season. High-variance results are baked into the cake of Napier's program. Maybe they deliver another decadent upset tomorrow against No. 5 Texas A&M on the road. Maybe they forget to add the eggs and crumble to a 20-point loss. Anything is possible! Whatever happens, I'm sick of Napier baking either the best or worst cake you've ever eaten each week. This program needs some damn vegetables.

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2. Bill Belichick - North Carolina (2-3) (Last week: NR)

I led my annual hot seat tiers column in June by placing Bill Belichick in his own special tier. Here's what I said:

I'll be honest with you: I've never cared about a sports story less than who Bill Belichick's girlfriend is. I have no interest in how they met, their sex life, or what her occupation is. He's a man who wears shoes with no socks, so no level of nasty would surprise me! However, it's hilarious that the greatest coach in NFL history jumped down to the college level and instantly became the negative distraction and sideshow stain on his university that all of you who hate Deion Sanders thought Deion would be.

We aren't even halfway through the season and things are somehow worse than I anticipated. The 2-3 Tarheels have been outscored 120-34 in their three power-conference games (all losses) - the latest of which was a 38-10 mercy-killing by Clemson in Chapel Hill. North Carolina gave up 150 yards and two touchdowns on the Tigers' first four plays, and trailed 35-3 at half. The crazy part? That game was probably the high-point for Belichick over the past week.

On Monday, local news in Chapel Hill absolutely buried Belichick with a lengthy report on UNC's culture with sourcing from players, players' parents, and people within the program. The actual news hit has the same tone as a local businessman committing fraud on a small community:

Here's what's happened in the days since:

• Cornerbacks coach Armond Hawkins was suspended for providing extra benefits to recruits.
• The in-season documentary UNC had lined up with Hulu got scrapped (allegedly).
• Reports surfaced that Belichick and the school may already be working on a mutual exit plan:

• Finally, Belichick and UNC Athletic Director Bubba Cunningham put out a joint statement/graphic that definitely won't mean anything in three weeks:

Get ready to learn 'co-star of a Netflix reality show about my relationship with my Gen Z girlfriend' this time next year, old man.

3. Luke Fickell - Wisconsin (2-3) (Last week: 2)

Wisconsin actually showed some decent fight in their 24-10 loss at Michigan! Luke Fickell doesn't get any credit, though, because he either mismanaged the end of the game or decided to lay down like a coward.