Previewing the 2025 college football season with haikus for every team

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For the fourth-straight year
I proudly present to you
My season preview

Air Force

Finished last year strong
I believe they build on that
Back to a bowl game

Akron

Ineligible
Decent finish last season
Hope they smack Dilfer:

Alabama

We all want to know
Can they beat big bad Vandy?
Shouldn't miss playoff

Appalachian State

Talent through portal
But how quickly can they gel?
Your guess? Good as mine

Arizona

Last year: disaster
And now they lose McMillan
New coach next season

Arizona State

No surprises now
They have what it takes again
At least nine wins here

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Arkansas

Manic football team
Never know what you will get
Aside from chaos

Arkansas State

Butch is in year five
Free from my Hot Seat Rankings
I am proud of him

Army

Lost their star QB
But they're still a contender
Potential upset:

Auburn

Head coach loves to golf
Better swing for eight and four
Or his ass is grass

Ball State

What is this program?
New coach needs to define that
Then build for future

Baylor

Lots of hype for them
It all starts with Robertson
We'll find out week one:

Boise State

Ashton Jeanty gone
This roster is still real stacked
Playoff repeat? Yes!

Boston College

BOB might be cooking
Have to stack those wins early
They'll pull one upset

Bowling Green

Love the hire they made
Eddie will need some time, though
Keep an eye on them

Buffalo

Quarterback questions
Avoided portal raiding
Detroit in their sights

BYU

No more Jake Retzlaff
Makes offense a question mark
D-Line is BEEFY:

Cal

Still pissed they lost this
I paid a lot for those seats
Six wins forever

Central Michigan

Goodbye, sweet Jim Mac
Hello, power run system
Multi-year rebuild

Charlotte

Never forget this
Tim Albin is a winner
Just won't win this year

Cincinnati

Scott on the hot seat
And it isn't cooling down
I smell burning pants

Clemson

Klubnik for Heisman?
They will be back in playoff
Huge week one matchup

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Coastal Carolina

Third season for Beck
I expect more of the same
Between six/eight wins

Colorado

No Shedeur or Trav
Defense - quietly nasty
Success: Bowl again

Colorado State

Went wild in portal
Bowling should be their main goal
How is he still there?

Delaware

Their debut season
"Hey, they copied Michigan"
Will they steal signs, too?

Duke

Reliable D
Now have a star quarterback
An intriguing team

East Carolina

Expect them to score
And give up big points, as well
I say six and six

Eastern Michigan

Big step back last year
O-line is backbone of team
The goal: get to bowl

Florida International

Simmons: The right coach
Won't see results this season
Heading for better

Florida

Same as last season
Tough schedule, hot seat head coach
All rides on Lagway

Florida Atlantic

Tom Herman is out
New head coach can barely drink
They will sling the ball

Florida State

They hit rock bottom
Huge prove-it game in week one
They will prove nothing

Fresno State

Debut for Matt Entz
Built on physicality
A year to assess

Georgia

Is Medusa there?
She looks at receiver room
Their hands turn to stone

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Georgia Southern

Begging for upset
Do the right thing, football gods
Please hear my prayer

Georgia State

They beat Vanderbilt!
Need more of that this season
Team that shows flashes

Georgia Tech

Smashmouth football team
More consistency needed
Statement game from jump:

Hawai'i

Hope they go bowling
Alejado is one to watch
First game sets the tone

Houston

They showed some promise
I believe in Willie Fritz
Just not this season

Illinois

Bret owns Shane Beamer
Now he's aiming for playoff
Need four and one start

Indiana

Head coach won't shut up
Can't deny his track record
Gross non-con schedule

Iowa

You want a hot take?
They will beat Penn State at home
And make the playoff

Iowa State

Hard to pick against
Steadiest team in Big Twelve
This could be their year

Jacksonville State

Samuels bankroll
Klutch trucks pulling up on me
Let my name live on

James Madison

A huge question mark
If he's healthy? Special year
Damn good backfield, too

Kansas

They fell on their face
Reddit guys were in shambles
Will return to bowl

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Kansas State

Big Twelve favorite
Johnson has to take next step
Huge week zero game

Kennesaw State

Year zero for Mack
No offensive production
They're starting from scratch

Kent State

We are giving grace
Politics holding them back
They are physical